Changing years of negative feelings and thoughts into positive ones is difficult.
Maybe if I wrote what I was grateful for each day.
Maybe if I wrote what I enjoyed each day.
Maybe if I thanked someone each day.
Maybe if I looked at pictures to remind myself of happier times.
But I struggle to find genuine gratitude. I struggle to feel contentment instead of pain or worry. I struggle to remember the past that wasn’t hurtful. I struggle not to cry when I remember all the people who used to be in my life now that I feel so isolated and lonely.
Maybe I just don’t want to try because I can’t believe it can be done. Maybe depression is all there can be.