Aging Elders

My grandmother and grandfather have poor physical and mental health so there was a bit of drama at Christmas and probably will continue for a while.  I have a very selfish uncle and he lives with them, but my mom and her other brother feel like he does nothing to help them.  And of course, being the oldest grandchild and my mom is a bit of a gossip, I do agree.  But I think I need to remind myself to not become invested in drama no one is asking me to try to solve.  My mom’s friend was giving her advice and I felt like I was seeing myself: wanting to reduce harm and create results but it’s neither of our problem.

Haha, but I think focusing on other people’s drama is easier than handling my own problems.  I feel so much anxiety over my own problems that I really avoid trying to deal with them.  If my mom is doing the same with hers, who am I to get on her case?  If I had my life all put together, I wouldn’t be in a position to be in the know about my grandmother’s declining health.  I assume my emotions are more debilitating and intense than my mom’s, but that’s only conjecture based on her lack of breakdowns and her ability to keep up appearances of normacy.

And it’s not like I don’t care what happens to them, but it is out of my control.  And I resent constant advice givers very much, personally.  I know my mom won’t use my advice, regardless.  So this situation seems like a perfect time to practice deliberate presence while giving up on managing, predicting, or even trying worrying about my grandmother.  It’s not my place.  And now, as an adult, I can claim my own distance.