Trust

Broken. Maybe it’s a lie here and another lie there. Catching two different stories about the same event. And slowly, no matter how many excuses I make or how much I want to believe and trust someone, it’s gone. There is nothing left. Every story needs confirmation, but is the evidence provided even definite proof? Could it be faked? Digitally altered? Showing something that only appears to be what I am looking for? How much of the story is a lie? All or just part or just the tiniest but most crucial detail? It’s maddening to have to test everything because there’s been enough demonstration that anything can be lied about. There are no boundaries that aren’t crossed by deceit.

Really, the only sane choice is to cut ties with this person. Make sure there’s no access, leverage, anything left that I would not let everyone else see. Nothing with which to attack or blackmail me. Because if the lying is so obvious and brazen, could there be anything this person wouldn’t do?

The web of lies only can grow, entangling me further into betrayal, danger, and most of all hurt. When trust is gone, affection will follow.

I suffer from . . .

Recently, stopping for some icecream became a bit of an overwhelming experience.

I tried to think of all the choices I had amongst me, so as to choose the best one. Not the old standby, or the choicest of a small number, but from ALL the selection choose my single choice.

And my mind staggered under the weight afforded me by where I live is crippling.   There is too much afforded to me to take in unfiltered. I simply crumple.

And practically the same can be said of ice cream with it’s many flavors . . . And cones, sprinkles, toppjngs, sandwiches,  portions, brands, confections and varieties.   Combined with living in Southern California, well … cultural diversity practically renders the choices beyond imagination.

I feel the sheer scope of possibilities is clouding my ability to critically evaluate and practice moderation.