Love Letter 11

I will sit with you in the silence.  You can’t stop crying, but you don’t have to stop.  Just feel how you feel. let yourself feel the magnitude of what is present right now.  Grieve.  Don’t stop if you are still grieving.  Cry until your tears dry on their own.  And I am here beside you.

You don’t need to say anything.  I won’t ask you any questions.  I will just lay beside you.  What can I do to comfort you?  I can just quietly rest beside you and run my fingers through your hair.  Or rub your shoulders.  Or breathe on your neck.  Or hold your hand.

Don’t stuff away your feelings.  Where do you think you could hide them without losing more of yourself?  I am not afraid of how much you feel or what you feel.  It’s fine to be yourself.  All of yourself.  Even the parts you haven’t discovered.  You won’t shock or disappoint me.  Please, just be yourself and relax.  Enlarge the borders of your safety.  Lie down in peace.  Smile peacefully.  Lay down your strategies, defenses, and weapons for a renewed hope in peace.

xmaslites3

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Love Letter 4

Tender-hearted.  Compassionate.  Sensitive.  Present.  Heart-felt.

Eye See You by tida bradshaw

Empathetic rather than sympathetic.  Close rather than distant.  Connected rather than unengaged.  Even your ability to hurt with and for another is a beautiful gift when it causes compassion and comfort to follow.

Crying for the First Time in a Long Time

I used to cry almost every single day.  And by “cry” I mean uncontrollably weep until my voice left and breathing was only possible with gasps.

But I haven’t cried much in the last few weeks.

I did cry, after watching the happy couple finally start to date in the K-drama I love Lee Tae Ri.

Seeing young, innocent, hopeful love beginning invoked my own heartache and released my tears.

I was like that once.

And it is all over.

I can never return to the one I loved or the person I was when I fell in love.

First love has ended.  My innocence has truly died.