Florida’s FUCKED UP “Stand Your Ground” Law



I feel like that this is a little disturbing. So, black woman fires warning shots to defend herself against someone who she knows will hurt her and a hispanic man stalks a black child and shoots, killing him. Black woman = 20 years in prison. Hispanic man = free.

If you are black, just leave Florida. Clearly the legal system will not give you justice.

The Numbers Game – Gender Double Standard

Ask E. Jean: My Boyfriend Thinks I’m

If you can count the number of lovers you’ve had on one hand, and that number is too high for your man, E. Jean has some words of advice

April 10, 2012

Relationship Advice Expert E. Jean
Gregg Delman

Dear E. Jean:  My boyfriend’s ex-fiancée is an overbearing, success-starved lunatic who dresses like a grandma and listens to Celine Dion. She’s 31 and has slept with two men in her entire life, one of whom was my boyfriend. Recently he compared me with her and told me I was too sexually “easy.” And last night he went so far as to call me a slut and state that I “may not be the girl for him.”

This sent me into a fit of hysteria for the rest of the evening. I’ve never had a one-night stand in my life! I barely enjoyed a boob-grope till college. I’m 24, and I’ve dealt with my fair share of men—but don’t worry, I can still count the guys I’ve had sex with on one hand. His comparing me with her cut deeper than any of his absurd accusations and insults. Can I write this off to his being intoxicated? Or to his being 10 years older? I don’t want to lose him! He’s the best man I’ve ever known, and I don’t know what to do. —Easy A

Miss A, My Little Artichoke:  If you want to keep “the best man” you’ve “ever known,” be ready to don a pair of iron underpants with locks. His worldview is medieval. He may be blessed with a thousand fine virtues, but he’s also a narrow-minded, sexist half-wit—cruel, vindictive, and a fool who’ll probably forsake you in the end for a 20-year-old spinster wearing puffed sleeves and a skirt to her ankles. You can’t change the man’s thinking. I advise you to ruuuuunnnnnnnnnn like hell.

P.S. Never tell a fellow how many people you’ve slept with—ever. No matter what your sample size, it will sound extreme.

The Numbers Game – Gender Double Standard

There is still a double standard where women can’t complain about how many (or how?!) sexual partners a man has had.  And every woman who has had a past sexual partner is a slut … regardless of the fact that the said soliciting male is asking for premarital sex which is presumably what the males before asked, demanded, or took (rape).

All this serves to make open communication between sexual partners more impossible: with men lying about experiences with prostitution and women pretending to be virginal because their only other choice is a whore.  And make men who choose love and sex over a mere physical act to be less masculine or capable and women condemn themselves for their sexuality.

Well, fuck that!  I want real relationships between men and women – not just destructive role-playing.  So, what can we do?  See each person as an individual … worthy of love, not to be compared to another, and as a continuing discovery and revelation of themselves.  Everyone is unique and everyone can change.

‘Pornland’: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality – a review by Kate Dailey

‘Pornland’: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality – a review by Kate Dailey

“Porn message boards. Much of the book’s arguments are bolstered by the anonymous comments of men on sites … The comments are so filled with bile and misogyny that it’s almost impossible to find one suitable for reprint, but they make great fodder for Dines’s point: that modern porn culture both desensitizes users to women while also making porn seem like a an acceptable option for girls.” – Kate Dailey

The Word for World is Forest: Ursula K. Le Guin

Le Guin’s amazing sci-fi masterpiece, The Word for World is Forest, explores what it means to be human.

In a future where humans have met outer space humanoids or beings of intelligence, culture, community, and language.  In other words, beings that are more like us than we are like animals or plants.

The novel explores community, military, hierarchy, power, slavery, war, murder, gender, identity, transcendence, dreams, and culture change.

Le Guin introduces us to a world named New Tahiti that humans are colonizing … and where the local humanoid race isn’t accepted as fully human.  Culture differences make negotiation and discussion difficult for the radically dissimilar peoples.  Humans enslave the rather submissive people of Athshe, mistaking their docility for ignorance and simplistic thinking.

The goal of humans on New Tahiti is to set up a imperialistic colony that will become a permanent human settlement and provide resources, the most common being lumber, back to Earth.

The story is told in several chapters with each chapter being narrated by one of three characters, a human military commander named Captain Davidson, a researcher of the native inhabitants employed by the military named Raj Lyubov, and a recently widowed, native Athshean named Selver who becomes a god to his people.

Le Guin’s book has many similarities to James Cameron’s famous movie, Avatar.  In both Avatar and The Word for World is Forest humans are taking resources from a planet and thereby destroying the native people’s habitat, scientists and military officers have conflicting agendas, important neurological or mind connections between beings, and the costs of war.

However, my opinion is that The Word for World is Forest is more sophisticated, realistic, and demanding for it’s readers.  It is a book that questions what being an outsider and different really means, whether we are talking about men and women, Caucasians and Asians, or humans and humanoid aliens.

The Word for World is Forest: Ursula K. Le Guin: 9780765324641: Amazon.com: Books.

The Modern War on Women 1

There is definitely a cultural trend of war on women … Conservatives needing harsh rules to make themselves feel they are on the right side of righteous instead of developing real character to engage with a painful world.

Which is why I love Nico Lang’s article, “Trampire:” Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women:

“I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for all the young women today who are tuned into this scandal, ones who are learning that it’s not okay to screw up, ever. Chris Brown can publicly beat the hell out of his girlfriend but still be played on the radio and win Grammys. However, if you ever cheat on your boyfriend, your life is over and no one will ever want to be associated with you. Almost no one will blame the much-older guy you cheated with, and it might actually make him more famous and help his career. Few will care that he was your boss and in a position of authority or that he may have have taken advantage of your youth and relative inexperience. Everything is your fault, and your life will be threatened over it. If you are a trampire, you will be publicly staked for it, even though cheater Ashton Kutcher recently emerged relatively unscathed by the media. No one asked for him to be fired from Two and a Half Men.”

“I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for my younger stepsister who has pictures of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on her walls, who idolizes and worships them, and who might grow up to hate Kristen Stewart for reasons she doesn’t understand. I’m worried she will be taught that it’s not okay to mess up, learn from it and apologize, because no one wants your apology, just your suffering on camera. I’m worried that she’ll think its okay to harass and threaten women for their indiscretions, even if men get off scot-free. I’m worried she will think this culture of bullying, slut-shaming and rhetorical violence against women is the norm, because you get a t-shirt for it. I’m worried she will learn to internalize the shame brought on far too many women today, for having sexualities, for not being perfect, for not fitting into a box. I’m worried she’ll believe men like Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and Mike Huckabee are right.”

Interestingly, women self-report higher rates of infidelity now than in the past – while still being much lower than men’s self-reported rates.  Why I find this interesting is one would assume any reasonably intelligent person would think some change should begin with men, where the larger problem exists-and that by correcting men’s undesirable sexual behavior, women would be likewise encouraged to abstain or remain faithful.  Maybe a reasonable person wold think men shouldn’t be encouraged to fuck every woman they see, glorify rape as normal sexual behavior without negative consequences, and practice aggression as a badge of male honor.

But then again, any reasonable person would guess these issues aren’t about abortion, pre-marital sex, birth control, or rape.  We aren’t discussing sex-we are discussing gender and how women are used as objects for displaced anger, violence, and pain.

It’s ugly.  And it is exactly the nature of the modern war against women.

-The Modern War on Women-

American Nerd – Quotes from Benjamin Nugent

“It’s also just barely possible to think you make a statement about gender when you work a fake nerd look. While nerds, as everybody knows, tend to be male more often than female, dressing like a nerd rejects conventional ideas about what a hunky young man looks like. Since conventional notions of what makes a young man look handsome are so bound up with conveying power and wealth and the capacity for punching somebody out, making yourself look like a nerd on purpose is a gesture that says, “I renounce the privilege of being a young swinging dick.” At the very least, it’s a refusal to make your outfit a monument to your own authority. For a woman, dressing up as a fake nerd is a refusal of plumage. In an androgynous paradise where adults of both sexes look like enlarged spelling-bee champions, it’s easy to forget for a moment, or even an entire night of drinking beer, that privilege is unevenly distributed between genders. At least, it’s easy if you’re male.” (125)

“Leetspeak dates back to the early bulletin board systems of the 1980s, when even short messages were so arduous to send that users truncated “you are” to “u r” and so on … This new slang was developed largely by young men, and it has come to resemble, more than anything else, the language spoken by the delinquents in Anthony Burgess’s Clockwork Orange … Leetspeak shares with that fictional slang system a tendency to align good with violence and sex. In addition to rape, there’s slut as a word for being skilled. “I slut at SSBM,” for example, means “I’m good at Super Smash Bros. Melee.” One of the reasons to create your own elite slang system is to give yourself the feeling of belonging to a special, empowered group. The vocabulary of the language, in this case, reflects that will to power, the need for one-upmanship, the fantasy of violence and violent sex.” (155-156)
“I think about death; that is, I think about how little time we get and how much time we spend inventing and following rules that make us feel immortal and safe.” (209)
Nugent, Benjamin. American Nerd: The Story of My People. New York: Scribner, 2008. Print.

Daily Life in Korea 14

Another day in Korea, another day of Korean men beating up  women in public.

I found out about this viral video through a Facebook link to this blog.

I clearly am somewhat biased, but there have been videos of groups of men drinking soju on the a much more crowded subway car in the middle of the floor.  Sure, smoking on the subway is wrong.  So is most of the things Koreans do because something being illegal isn’t the same as it being prohibited.  This is a country that still struggles with corruption and views age, money, and power as irrefutable “might makes right” conditions.  However, male is better than female, so a man making some scene is ignored while a woman making a scene is physically assaulted.

So, there is your fix of daily life in Korea.  Women getting put in their place by force.