Come to Terms With Your Grief
Accept The Loss: It is natural to protect yourself from the full impact of the loss by holding on to the deceased’s belongings. Although it may take time, being able to release those possessions is a positive sign of acceptance and reorganization.
Feel The Pain: Recognize and experience your emotions. Crying helps, since it allows painful feelings to be expressed.
Talk About It: Talking about the loss and reminiscing helps you to accept the situation. Expressing regrets, fears, and anger is helpful. Do not take the attitude that “it doesn’t help to rake it up.”
Take One Day At a Time: Do not try to sort out everything at once. Grieving takes as long as it takes – there are no fixed time limits and it cannot be hurried.
Take Care Of Yourself: Get plenty of rest, eat well, take time to retreat, and time to talk. Try not to become isolated but seek out social support.
Adapt To Change: This may mean taking on a new role, learning new skills, or learning how to live on your own.
Let Go: When you are ready, let go. This does not mean forget.
©Powell,Trevor. 1997. Free Yourself From Harmful Stress. New York, NY:DK Publishing, Inc. www.dk.com
Grieving is a process about dealing with trauma and loss and recovering. And apparently recovery takes time, effort, change, and new thinking.
Which is depressing because if there was a pill or shot for that, then we could be really inhumane and get over things instantly. Although, it might turn out like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And that is frustrating and depressing.
So here’s to recovery. Good luck everyone. We apparently all need it.
So, I went to see the new movie, 17 Again. Yep, totally your typical highschool film and totally your typical Freaky Friday main character time warp.
I mean really good. Probably the best film I have seen since I saw Slumdog Millionaire and this is fun and realistic violence-free.
Okay, all the pros:
- Good cinemtography, that doesn’t draw the attention to itself, but features a lot of close-ups which is good for heart/soul pictures.
- Nice editing. Quite a few really fast cuts for music montages or flash backs. But that was upbeat and fun.
- For this type of movie, it had good special effects. The face in the whirlpool and the running through the hall of water of transformation-awesome! The slow-downed shock scene might not have been special effects, but a good character-driven and experiential decision.
- Music was not terribly memorable, but definitely story-moving and appropiate for the scenes. Crazy elfish, epic-style music for meeting your true love, hilarious. I liked the big music buildup when Mike chose to be there for his girlfriend and didn’t hesitate about that decision.
- Jim Gaffigan. Period. He was in it, therefore the movie deserves props. He wasn’t funny, but I love him and they gave him fake red hair. I heart Gaffigan.
- Great story. Now yes, it was a moralistic, journey type tale in that vein. Like, Never Been Kissed. The core story though started out well, pretty succient, got to the trouble needing fixed pretty simply, and wrapped up super quick. Meaning it left the bulk to be the fun 17 again stuff. But great one-liners, mostly Zac’s, and pretty clean story-telling. Plus, some of the over-the-top situations (dancing with cheerleaders, nerd and literature, slaps, never going back speech, daughter’s misdirected affections) were hilarious. They kept the film light and fun, versus being too corny and too slapstick. I liked the corny lines, I like the midget comment. I get to be a glorified midget wrangler. Also, it was a pretty good hero tale, because he didn’t fail too much. Slapstick is hard to watch if you see the main character just get humilated over and over again, but Mike really could make a difference, and wasn’t too down on himself too much. Except losing that job, that was sad. And literally getting beat up so much. But beyond that, you could root for your hero and see him succeed. That is nice, I like that.
- Zac Efron was a good choice. That kid has skills. Unfortunately, that kid is an artful actor. Shame for my next 10 years, at least.
- Overall, good casting, with the two exceptional choices already highlighted.
Now, some indifferent or sad points:
- It is a Zac Efron vehicle. It is, he and Jim Gaffigan, make that film. But for all the hotness, basketball skills, and great lines, Zac is still really good. He is 22 and played I am so over Highschool and an adult well. Maybe that is just him, and he would have a hard time playing drama king or comedy loser role. But then again, with those looks, would he need to. Definitely good movie but it is his movie and that hurts one’s pride.
- They never mention what happened about that pregnancy 20 years ago when their oldest child is a senior, meaning 17 or 18 years old. But that isn’t as bad as I thought, because it emphasizes he did give a lot up to run out of that game. And still get married. Regardless if it was a miscarrage, still birth, or false call, the truth was that he held on to that promise that they were together, and made that-a marriage-work! Until he kept feeling like a failure and wanted to have it to do over again. So, added some more depth to regret, because he wouldn’t have had to run out of the game and could have still had the girl … or could he?
- I wish I had made that movie. I thought it was a truimph of what that type of story should be. And so, yeah, those feelings are sad. I don’t want longing that way.
So, yeah, not too many complaints. Very fun, very good movie.
Apparently the token guy who was willing to watch it with us can use it as proof of his friendship to the inviter always. Also funny.