Waves of Despair

My heart hurts.  I am grieving.  It feels like waves of sadness will never stop bashing me down.  It feels like I can’t breathe.  It feels like I am waiting to drown.

I feel waves of despair.

Sometimes I just want the pain to end.

Indonesia, <3 U

I went to Indonesia in January, 2012.  I visited Jakarta and Bali.  Here is my top ten list of what I experienced during my holiday in the Southeast Asian archipelago.

10. The mall!  Okay, one mall out of the four I went to!  It was the perfect mix of America/global brands and layout with Asian charm!  It had all the best shops.  I knew then that if I lived in Jakarta, I would go to shop there.  And I wouldn’t miss America when I went to that mall.  I would be in shopping bliss instead!  But … can’t remember which mall it was.  Just the malls it wasn’t.  ^.~   Oh well!

Chinese New Year! ^^

9. The amazing weather!  It is so warm year-round!  Now, I went during winter, which is traditionally rainy season.  The rainy season means quick, heavy showers!  I miss rainy days in America being universal to all the seasons, but having a rainy season has its own quirky charm.  But during my stay, there was hardly any rain!  It rained twice maybe!  Sunshine follows me where I go. ^^ Maybe I am a princess?!

Flowers! I love summer!

8. Street vendors!  And the bustling streets!  You can buy all sorts of yummy food from morning until night in Indonesia!  It feels so friendly and active to have breakfast on plastic chairs outside in the morning heat (always hot).  The food is amazing, and everywhere someone will sell you food or clothes or souvenirs.  It is kind of sad, realizing the relative poverty compared to my Western homeland, but it’s an exotic experience.

7. Karaoke rooms are awesome!  They have computers!  They have fancy drink and food menus!  Maybe I just got to go to the nicest, least creepy places because my tour guide knew what he was doing, but being able to sing songs from all over Asia is awesome!  Karaoke is better in Indonesia! ^^ Love to sing!

6. Sweet tea!  Okay, I am not a Southern gal.  But sweet tea in Indonesia is indispensable.  Best drink to match your nasi goreng.  So yummy!  And it’s in a glass bottle!  Exotic!

Cool and Refreshing! Hey, that's not Cola!

5. Nasi goreng, tidak pedas!  I love fried rice!  Indonesian fried rice!  Hold the durian and hot sauce, but Indonesian food is amazing!  I love fried rice there.  I ate it almost everyday.

I was too scared to try to eat something with legs still attached! Break them off, one-by-one!

4. Secluded islands with white sand beaches!  Being one of a few tourists on a beach in a famous tropical spot like Indonesia is amazing.  Being on a clean, warm, beautiful beach is always amazing!

The ocean at Jimbaran!

3. Pizza Hut!  Sure, it’s American, but the price and menu is better in Indonesia.  And the taste is still classically Pizza Hut.

Pizza? I don't want pizza. Wait, Pizza Hut? That's different!

2. Going into a Korean make-up store and being told, “Welcome Princess!”  Sure, R had to translate it and they probably say the same thing in Korea, but R was so excited, I pretty much couldn’t stop blushing.  Yes, I am a princess.  I really do want guys to carry my things, open doors for me, and pay for everything on a date.  And guys that carry my purse and go shopping for earrings, hair bands, and nail polish with me make me feel like a princess! *^^*  It made Indonesia the best country (although maybe just for that brief moment).

1.  R’s smile – It’s free!

^_^
The beach at night! It was amazingly beautiful! Perfect beach holiday!

Year of the Dragon Part 2

The ocean from Bali! Yep, I was a dork readin' a book at the beach!

The beach is awesome!  After Lunar New Year, I began the Year of the Dragon in Bali, Indonesia.  It was somewhere I never imagined I would go three years ago.  It was somewhere I never imagined going by myself two years ago.  Life is amazing.  People get older.  People get bolder.

Black Water Dragon 2012
WATER DRAGON! BLACK DRAGON! OH NO, MY SKIN!

And some of us just get henna tattoos of dragons to celebrate the Chinese New Year!   Okay, I do love henna.  But I didn’t love remembering the news reporting when I was young (teenager, or even younger? So decades ago.) about black henna giving tourists rashes when they got a temporal tattoos during their beach vacations.  Rashes are not good vacation/new year fun!  But I couldn’t say no to the pushy vendors on the beach at Bali.  So yes, I got a black henna tattoo of a water dragon on my leg!  Go year of the dragon!  So far not itchy and no signs of infection/impending amputation (yet!) and it might fade away.  Maybe.  Um, but not really even faded to brown yet.

So here’s to you Indonesia and the Year of the Dragon-2012!

Real "Dragon"

Far Away by Ingrid Michaelson

I will live my life as a lobsterman’s wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
And close to my heart he’ll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and
Nelly and Faye.
While I’m combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
On our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

There’s a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he’s the tops, he’s where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.

When he walks right pass me then I finally see on this bar stool I can’t stay.
So I’m taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay.
Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

I want to go far away.
Away away, I want to go far away, away, away
I want to go far away, far away.

Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another life, to another life.
To another shore line
In another life.


I want another adventure.  I want to leave the sadness of now for a bright, beautiful future on an island by a blue bay.