Aging Elders

My grandmother and grandfather have poor physical and mental health so there was a bit of drama at Christmas and probably will continue for a while.  I have a very selfish uncle and he lives with them, but my mom and her other brother feel like he does nothing to help them.  And of course, being the oldest grandchild and my mom is a bit of a gossip, I do agree.  But I think I need to remind myself to not become invested in drama no one is asking me to try to solve.  My mom’s friend was giving her advice and I felt like I was seeing myself: wanting to reduce harm and create results but it’s neither of our problem.

Haha, but I think focusing on other people’s drama is easier than handling my own problems.  I feel so much anxiety over my own problems that I really avoid trying to deal with them.  If my mom is doing the same with hers, who am I to get on her case?  If I had my life all put together, I wouldn’t be in a position to be in the know about my grandmother’s declining health.  I assume my emotions are more debilitating and intense than my mom’s, but that’s only conjecture based on her lack of breakdowns and her ability to keep up appearances of normacy.

And it’s not like I don’t care what happens to them, but it is out of my control.  And I resent constant advice givers very much, personally.  I know my mom won’t use my advice, regardless.  So this situation seems like a perfect time to practice deliberate presence while giving up on managing, predicting, or even trying worrying about my grandmother.  It’s not my place.  And now, as an adult, I can claim my own distance.

I suffer from . . .

Recently, stopping for some icecream became a bit of an overwhelming experience.

I tried to think of all the choices I had amongst me, so as to choose the best one. Not the old standby, or the choicest of a small number, but from ALL the selection choose my single choice.

And my mind staggered under the weight afforded me by where I live is crippling.   There is too much afforded to me to take in unfiltered. I simply crumple.

And practically the same can be said of ice cream with it’s many flavors . . . And cones, sprinkles, toppjngs, sandwiches,  portions, brands, confections and varieties.   Combined with living in Southern California, well … cultural diversity practically renders the choices beyond imagination.

I feel the sheer scope of possibilities is clouding my ability to critically evaluate and practice moderation.

Brave Promo

I kind of love this.  I want to “witch” my problems away.  Although I assume that using magic to solve your problems makes a demand for more effort later to resolve your problems.  But the Little Mermaid (and Brother Bear, Beauty and the Beast, and Cinderella) needed magic for its storyline, so I am going to give Brave the benefit of the doubt.

Eek!  Brave looks really good.  Brave comes out June 22nd, 2012.