Life is hard. I feel like I have woken up from a long nap.
It’s like I am slowly realizing the dream I was living in has ended. “Time to wake-up!” Now I have a lot of growing to do if I want to become a person I love. Instead of the last few years of just surviving, I need to focus on thriving.
It’s scary. I feel confronted by difficulties. It is very scary. I am always worried about messing up, getting in over my head, or how the consequences will hurt my heart. And it seems like everything, even good growth, hurts my heart.
Maybe I should think of it like stretching muscles before starting a work-out. It might not feel great, but it is getting me ready to do something much more demanding. And it’s a necessary step.
Maybe I should try not to think about it too much.
Come to Terms With Your Grief
Accept The Loss: It is natural to protect yourself from the full impact of the loss by holding on to the deceased’s belongings. Although it may take time, being able to release those possessions is a positive sign of acceptance and reorganization.
Feel The Pain: Recognize and experience your emotions. Crying helps, since it allows painful feelings to be expressed.
Talk About It: Talking about the loss and reminiscing helps you to accept the situation. Expressing regrets, fears, and anger is helpful. Do not take the attitude that “it doesn’t help to rake it up.”
Take One Day At a Time: Do not try to sort out everything at once. Grieving takes as long as it takes – there are no fixed time limits and it cannot be hurried.
Take Care Of Yourself: Get plenty of rest, eat well, take time to retreat, and time to talk. Try not to become isolated but seek out social support.
Adapt To Change: This may mean taking on a new role, learning new skills, or learning how to live on your own.
Let Go: When you are ready, let go. This does not mean forget.
©Powell,Trevor. 1997. Free Yourself From Harmful Stress. New York, NY:DK Publishing, Inc. www.dk.com
Grieving is a process about dealing with trauma and loss and recovering. And apparently recovery takes time, effort, change, and new thinking.
Which is depressing because if there was a pill or shot for that, then we could be really inhumane and get over things instantly. Although, it might turn out like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And that is frustrating and depressing.
So here’s to recovery. Good luck everyone. We apparently all need it.